{Signing Off}

It's time for me to move on. This blog has been such a wonderous and special place for me to meet others and voice my sorrows, joys, and gratitude in going through Cole’s diagnosis and death from lymphoma. While this does not diminish the presence Cole still holds in my life, it is time for me to go on with the business of living. I have been touched by the community of others who gathered ’round in supporting this blog, which served as a diary and outlet during what was an incredibly difficult time for me. Giving voice to the process was cathartic. 

If you are reading this blog because you’ve just been told your dog has lymphoma, my heart and prayers go out to you. And I encourage you to keep searching for your own online community to help you through this -- it helps so much!! 

If you are trying to find guidance in making the decision whether or not to treat your dog with chemotherapy, I cannot give you a solid answer. I can only share that we made the decision not to do chemo, but rather to keep Cole as comfortable as possible while cherishing each and every moment we had left with her. There were so many personal factors that went into that decision. Through it all, I truly received the gift of practicing conscious presence with another being. I've often wondered why it was necessary that I face death in order to learn that lesson. And continue to learn that lesson over and over again today.

Would we make the same choice for Cole if faced with it now? I honestly don't know the answer. Others who have chosen chemo treatment have met with great success and prolonged their dog’s life. One such dog is Herbie from UK. Herbie, you are a Wonder Dog!! I will continue to follow your journey and drop you a note when I can. You go, Herbie!! {HUGS}

To see other lymphoma blogs, see my “Kidrend Spirits” links in the left column.

I wish you all well and leave you with a few favorite pictures of Cole and a passage from one of my favorite William Stafford poems, “Choosing A Dog”:

“It’s Love,” they say. 

You touch the right one and a whole half o

f the universe wakes up, 

a new half. 

My sweet  butterfly girl.

{Bridget has Cushing's Disease}

I almost don't know what to say, I'm still in shock over the diagnosis. We had her in to the vet last September because she'd been losing weight for some unknown reason, and she had loose stools. At that time the vet found that her liver counts were high, which could have pointed to Cushing's Disease then but there wasn't an easy clear-cut way to figure out exactly what was going on. He suggested we change her food. We did that and she was great. The weight came back and her stool was solid again -- YEAH!!

Then we had her in for a teeth cleaning recently and they found that her liver count had almost trippled since Sept. Something more was going on. Our vet then ran a low dose dexamethasone suppression test. That came back positive but we still didn't know if it was coming from her pituitary or adrenal glands. So yesterday our little trooper went in for an ultrasound. It is pituitary dependent hyperadrenocorticism. In other words the Cushing's Disease is caused by a tumor in her pituitary gland. The tumor is inoperable.

Bridget will have to go on Lysodren for the rest of her life. We begin with an induction phase which kills off the outer layer of her adrenal glands, then have her tested again to make sure her adrenal glands won't overproduce cortisol again, then put her on a maintenance dose. We will also have to carry Prednisone tablets to help her through any stressful situations that she could face since her body will no longer be able to produce adrenaline for her.

Is your head spinning yet? Mine is and I'm fighting off feeling completely depressed and incompetent as her human mommy. I saw some of the signs before but chalked it up to her getting older (evidently, this is a common thing). And I absolutely hate the thought of putting something in her that causes the self-destruction of any of her glands. 

Bridget seems kind of depressed today, too. I don't if it's the heat wave we're having here, or if I'm projecting my sadness onto her, or if she's just exhausted from the trip to a new strange vet (internal medicine specialist) for the ultrasound yesterday. I think I'm going to go lay on the floor and take a short nap with her before heading to work...

{Run Free Sweet Jenna!}

Cheryl lost her precious Jenna in April. She'd been offline for a bit so I wasn't sure what had happened, yet I hoped for a good outcome. Jenna, I am sorry for the pain you must be feeling right now. Yet the ferociousness of that pain is a testament to the love you had for Jenna and the life you shared with her. My thoughts are with you. Fly free Jenna girl!

{Super Dog!}

{Please send your thoughts to...}

...Jenna and Cheryl. 

Jenna has taken a turn for the worse this past week and it's been a tough week for her and her family. Please send any thoughts, prayers or wishes that you can her way. 

{A year ago today...}

One year ago today I lost my precious Cole. A day hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about her, felt her presence, or seen her in another. Sweetie, you will always be my forever dog -- I am better for having had you in my life and the lessons you taught me. Fly free...pa-loop-a-loop!

{Update on Bridgie-bridge and Ben-jamin'}

Both Bridget and Ben (our B2's) are doing really well and have settled into a routine with Bridget firmly established as the top dog. Here is Bridget relaxing after a good run outside. I love they way she conserves energy by napping whenever she can -- that way she's always on the ready for whatever is next. She and Ben both went to the vet on Saturday for their yearly exams and both are in great shape. She in particular for being 10 years old. Happy Belated Decade Birthday Bridget!!

And here is Ben, who is bigger than life and much too big for just a photograph. The movie was taken in our back yard as Ben played with his favorite outside toy -- branches we recently cut off the trees. As you can see, he has de-barked them and runs around as if they are a mere tooth pick. It's absolutely hilarious when he runs into a tree with the branch in his mouth -- he begins running around the tree because he can't just get through. Luckily no trees have been harmed in the making of this movie (or any other playtime)!! Go Ben go!